Today at 2:30 PM, growls and hisses rocked the countryside after a hangry lycan stabbed an interfering vampire with a fork.
Thankfully no lives were lost, but the aforementioned vampire’s stabbed hand suffered a temporary loss of function, of which its owner loudly complained.
Later, the only female present would describe the incident as “the sweetest thing she’s ever seen” lending credence to rumors of brainwashing.
Speculations are running rampant, and when asked for a quote, a source close to the stabbed vampire cackled and said, “[Redacted Name] is lucky it was a fork and not Eduardo,” leaving us with more questions than answers, including: Is Eduardo a who… or a what?
Next up on Wolf O’Clock News: Why did the last Alpha disappear?